The last 4+ months have been pretty eventful. We took some time to grieve, and while I don’t think we’ll ever get over our two embabies, we had to count our blessings and move on. For those wondering “is there life after IVF?” the answer is yes! Now I know, our story is very different than most… we didn’t go through years of timing sex around when we were ovulating, we never did IUIs and we never even considered the good ol “turkey baster”…. we just jumped right into IVF/ ICSI assisted reproductive technology top dollar shit. But here we are… a year later. A little over $20,000 in (which I know is chump change compared to what some of you have spent), 30+ lbs gained, and baby/embryo-less.
Let me get back to where I was going with this… oh yes, life! Since my last post I celebrated my 29th birthday in Vegas with our closest friends. The last year in my twenties… ahhh! We went to the Aquarium at the Mandalay Bay and went on the High Roller. While I highly recommend both, I wouldn’t pay full price to go to either so if you’re ever in Vegas use Groupon, Living Social, Trip Advisor, etc.
In May we celebrated our 3rd (marriage) anniversary. We flew to Florida and took a cruise on Royal Caribbean Independence of the Seas to Haiti, Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel. While in Haiti we zip lined which was on my bucket list, and while in Grand Cayman we swam with the stingrays (which was also awesome!) I got pretty sh*t faced one of the last nights after we got into a discussion about “what’s next” (which I’ll get to in a bit) but overall we really enjoyed ourselves and I think it’s exactly what we needed. So much of our traveling was put on hold because of the baby making plans so the silver lining in our failed cycle was being able to take this vacation. We’re hoping to go to New York in December and then maybe take an Alaskan Cruise next May.
Our ship in Hait:
The view of Hait from our balcony:
This isn’t the best pic because it’s a screen shot of the video on my phone… but this is the view of when we went zip lining. Even at over $100 each I would do it again if I could!
2 weeks before the trip… we moved. FINALLY, no more apartment living. We found a 2 bedroom with all of the amenities the last place was lacking & for the same price! We finally have a bedroom again! Yay. Last weekend we traded in our car and got a 2016 Hyundai Elantra. We rented one for a week last year when we drove from San Francisco to Canada and we fell in love with it. We also lowered our car payment by $130 a month! Initially my wife wanted a Kia Optima and I was stuck on getting a Jeep Wrangler (my inner lesbian was really pushing for this one) but since we have bigger plans in the near future we went with an Elantra. Womp womp womp! Haha, I really do love it though!
We recently joined Weight Watchers (err, again). I expected to gain some weight while on the IVF medications but I did not expect to go up 30lbs! (10 with the birth control and 20 with the progesterone shots!) I can’t blame it COMPLETELY on the meds. I also got lazy. So here I am, back on another weight loss journey (I don’t think I ever mentioned I previously lost these 30lbs before and the sons of b*&%es found me) Anyway, that’s that!
So “what’s next?” for us? Well, this topic hasn’t been an easy one for us to discuss. Reciprocal IVF is what we wanted. It’s what we planned for. We were so oblivious to the obstacles and challenges we were up against. Now knowing what we do (my wife has a very low ovarian reserve) we were left to decide if we wanted to try IVF again (we prepaid for the 2nd cycle however we would still have to pay $2000 for the anesthesia and ICSI & $4000 for the medications + the sperm which I believe we paid about $950 or so with courier cost) or buy a house. In a perfect world, we would do both… but with our middle class income we are forced to choose. My wife struggles with the idea of me being pregnant and her not having any biological ties to the baby, while I struggle with the idea of not being pregnant period. Her carrying my egg is not what I want, I could care less (ugh that sounds so harsh) if the child is biologically mine, I just want to be pregnant and carry a child regardless of whose genes it has. We’ve had many discussions (and a few heated arguments) about it but we have come to an agreement. Since my wife wants a house more than anything in the world, and I want a baby… we are meeting each other in the middle. She has agreed to (me) going through artificial insemination once we get a house. Hopefully, we’ll find one around the end of our lease next year and then we can move forward with the baby making. We aren’t sure if we’ll try at home first (so we can still say my wife knocked me up) or if we’ll go back to our reproductive endocrinologist but we have plenty of time to decide on that. For now, my heart is happy knowing that this journey isn’t over.
I thank each and every one of you who followed our blog and supported us. This community is one of a kind and I’m so grateful to have had you all when I needed you most. Our posts will be minimal from here on out but I’m still following along with you and continue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Until next time…